Monday, November 8, 2010

week one: mommy style


You know "that girl"?
The one who shows up to the 8:00 a.m. PTA meeting in a cardigan and pearls, looking like a million bucks while the rest of the moms are fresh from the shower, wet hair and all, sporting their favorite, over-sized Disneyland sweatshirt?

You know, that girl. The one who also never says no to anything, whether it's last minute babysitting, making dinner for a neighbor who just had surgery, or agreeing to head up teacher appreciation week?

And the one who has double (okay, and in my case triple) the number of kids you do, but is always on time and pulled together when you are not? The one who looks amazing, whether it's 7:00 a.m. or 10:00 p.m.? The one whose house is spotless and always has amazing smells coming from the kitchen (because she's making 200 cupcakes for the Children's Hospital Bake Sale, no doubt).

You know, HER?

I sort of want to hate her. 
But I can't.
More than I want to hate her, 
I sort of want to BE her.


We tend to vilify girls like her, but do we just do that because we know that "being her" is way more work than "being jealous and resentful of her?" (Answer: Probably.) Even though my human nature-y self wants to make fun of her and call her a Stepford Wifey, and even though I'd really like to think that she is just really, really fake, and really, really convincing... part of me knows the truth. 

And the truth is. 

She knows what it truly means to be a woman and a mother.
She is dedicated to being an effective, organized nurturer and homemaker. 

And I DON'T "get" it...
But I want to. 


And I'm thinking that there must (simply must!) be something to the whole, "Not staying in my bathrobe and thrashed house slippers all the live-long day" way of life. Maybe if I wasn't in my bathrobe... I would take out the trash...and tidy up my front yard, and not feel like an idiot when someone knocks on my door...and maybe I would even go get groceries so we could have a decent dinner later that night...and mayhaps (if I got really productive) I would return the library books, and not be late for every appointment under the sun!

(Hey, it could happen!)

That is why I have selected:
1. Fully dressed (like, to the nines baby!) first thing in the morning, and 2. 60 minutes of cleaning each day as the goals for Week ONE!

I will give regular updates and tidbits of inspiration that I find along the way, every day this week. Stay tuned!

Do you get up and get dressed every morning?
If not EVERY morning, how often (as in, how many days a week) do you get ready first thing?
Just wondering how "out there" I am compared to the rest of the mommy world. 
I get dressed for the day about once every 10 days... and that's only when I have somewhere to go. (Oh wow, my poor husband...)

What about you?

*JUST SO YOU KNOW: I am pretty sure that Jackie O wasn't an expert homemaker... I suspect she left all that to the nannies, the cooks, and housekeepers, and such. But MAN could the woman dress! Whew! I think everyone should take a page (or thirty)  from the Jackie book of style. The world would be a much prettier place.


Jen said...

I never get ready first thing. Unless, like you, I have to be somewhere. I purposely schedule appointments as early as I can for this reason. I do get dressed every day. Sometimes it isn't until the babies first nap. I rarely wear jewelry because he is in that handsy-grabsy-i-must-touch-everything-then-try-to-eat-it phase. So I don't know if I'll attempt jewelry. You are Braver than I am!
My modified version of your goal is to be dressed and ready before 8am!
With the time change this was an awesome time to start doing this!

Weber's said...

I was given some really good advise once. I don't do it all the time but I use it when I want to be productive.

Kestrel said...

A few weeks ago I heard "an object in motion stays in motion" applies to people too. So one day, I got up and showered and dressed right away, then made the bed. And HOLY CRAP I got SO MUCH stuff done that day! It was like a freaking miracle. I haven't tried it again since I have been recuperating from being so productive all at once. Ha.

I get dressed every day, but sometimes it takes until noon before I shower and am coherent. I like your goals though. I think mine this week are going to be ESTABLISH A NORMAL BEDTIME. As I write, I have been up for 22 hours because I tried to go to bed at 3 and just woke up at 5. Frick. Maybe I'll be so tired tonight that I'll be able to sleep early though, I hope.

And also my other goal is to clean. Because my house? It is a sty. And the family visitation season is starting very very soon.

Celeste said...

Here's how I roll. Get up, put on gym clothes, get eldest off to school, get delicious baby up & dressed, go workout for an hour, come home, put delicious baby down for his nap, shower, clean up breakfast, run around trying to get as much done as humanly possible before baby wakes up & eldest comes home from school. The hair is still wet, but I'm dressed & not smelly. The two things I do force myself to do first off are make my bed, and decide what's up for dinner. Because once that first nap is done & Sawyer is home my day kinda goes to hell. But we got a good start, huh?
p.s. You cannot hold yourself up to the standard of " that girl". You've made her up in your head. Just do better than you did before. I love you & this blogject

Housewife on Fire said...

Jen - I'm going to be in the jewelry-free boat in about 3 months (if not sooner) so I'm going to have to live it up until then baby!

Weber's - I agree! I don't think everyone has to get totally decked out everyday, but if you at least do jeans and sneaks, you're ready to run out and do errands, or at the very least you don't make the UPS man blush when you answer the door in your bathrobe ;) But really, and this is just a personal opinion, we don't dress nicely enough as a society anymore. Our version of "casual" is the 1950s version of slovenly... or homeless!

Kestrel - It's so true! I figure that, with all of the other goals I hope to implement in the coming weeks, the best building block is to get in the habit of getting up and immediately getting ready to face the day. That way, I will be up and ready to face the new goals as they come. Goals such as: Make a real dinner every night. (yikes!!)

Good luck with the sleeping! I need some too!

Good variations on the goals ladies!Let me know how you fared at the end of the day.

Housewife on Fire said...

Celeste- Perfect way to put it! I definitely won't hold myself to someone else's standard, just want to get to being the very best me possible!

(She does exist though, I swear! She lives up the street from me. You should come over, stake out my living room, and watch her go sometime - it's NUTS! (Okay, and I'm sure she has flaws...such as being neurotic and such... but man!)

LOVE the idea of deciding on dinner right out the gate - that is one of my biggest problems! 5:00pm rolls around and I say - AW CRAP!

And you pack your beautiful baby to the gym and work out EVERY morning? WOW. Sorry, but I think I'm adding THAT goal somewhere around week 36 of the Housewife on Fire Project! know, when I've mastered "regular showers and vacuuming!" That's just downright amazing to me.

Celeste said...

Also I get dressed "to the nines" maybe twice a week, date night & church. Other than that it's Jeggings & ponytails baby.

Celeste said...

The gym is for my own mental health & my familiy's physical health. If I skip a few days I get all sorts of stabby. (I think I stole that from you. All by my lone has nothing on stabby.) going to the gym guarantees me an hour to myself and plus I also read my scriptures there, which also combats the stabbiness. ;)

Jill said...

Its so nice to know that I am not the only one out there who struggles! In fact I still would be in bed right now (10:00) but I had to get up and babysit! I usually don't get out of bed till 10:30 and my poor sweet Hanna is soaked and angry by the time I get her out of her crib! Isn't that terrible! Sometimes 4 kids is soo overwhelming. I am sick of my house looking like a bomb went off, as well as my hair and face! My poor husband has to look at this everyday. I feel bad for him! I need to try and set goals for myself too! At least get dressed more often and do my makeup and hair.
I usually do pretty good at making dinner. We are on a very tight budget so we can't afford to eat out very often. So I make a menu plan for the week and shop for all the stuff I need and so everyday I already know what we are eating so I don't have to think about what to make, and its usually pretty easy stuff. Whether its good or not..I don't know.

Jen said...

I want to know how you are doing?? I was dressed and pretty by 8:15 which isn't bad considering my baby is being a stinker today!!

I decided to give it a try and put on jewelry. Wow. My ears were not happy about that! I still have a necklace and a watch (that doesn't work lol) on!

Tonia said...

I usually am at least showered before noon. Not always dressed to the nines not always with my hair done, but showered at least.
I deep clean one room a day and maintain the rest. I've been really bad about this lately but maybe you will inspire me :).
I make a 2 week menu and buy all my groceries for said menu. I stick to it like glue. Every once in a while I stray but not often. It saves a ton of money and time!!
I can't wait to see what you have in store for this!

Life with Kaishon said...

I don't hate her, but I don't want to be her either. I think sometimes people think looking good and appearing good are more important than being good. To me, more important than looking like a million bucks, is making sure my family is happy and well cared for. I don't need to clean one hour a day to do that. And I definitely don't need to get dressed up each morning for that : ) If it helps you though, Lola, more power to you. You always look beautiful to me. Even in your pajamas.

The Blackwells said...

I dont usually chime in on blogs but this topic is right up my ally! I NEVER get dressed, I despise clothing. I envy that girl in my class who wears the massive swets and hoodie EVERYDAY. When in the past I have dropped by a friends house mid day unannounced (I dont usually do this) and bust her in her jammie jams, I want to give her a huge hug! You get what I'm saying. I think it's okay as a stay home mother (or working mother i guess) to turn down some stuff every now and then. I find that if I take on to much I get stressed and end up taking it out on my kids, that for sure isn't making me a better mommy! I love staying home with my kids and I think getting to be comfy is one of the perks. (I actually dont go out in my sweats, I get dressd when I have to run somewhere but the second I get home its back to the sweats!)

Scott and Jillian said...

The only reason I get dressed every morning is that I have to drive my kids to school and walk them to the playground. But, the shower doesn't happen every morning. Sometimes not even every other morning. Thank goodness for deodorant, right? (I can't believe I just admitted that) ANYway, before the kids started kindygarten I was always in PJs, or less, *gasp!* until at least 9 or 10.

I agree with you about HER. I think we half love and half hate 'that woman' because we feel like she 'gets it' and we don't, but that we should. I really, really want to 'get it', though. Here's to hoping we make it!! (well, you know, if we drank and made toasts and such):D

Anonymous said...

Since having Ethan I have sort of been out of energy. The past month I have been trying to get myself back on some sort of schedual (though with two kids demanding my attention sometimes that schedual goes to pot) I have been getting showered and dressed at least 3 times a week though sometimes makeup only makes it on my face on sunday. I have been wondering alot lately about how my mom used to keep up on everything and I still remember her having time to read and play with us kids. Good luck with this.

Jeff and Jessie said...

Okay-I am one of the crazy ones. I get up and try to be ready for the day by the time I take the oldest two to school. Even on Saturdays I get up and get dressed. I can't stand to be in my jammies. If it doesn't happen first thing-it doesn't happen. I don't do my hair or make-up for anyone else-I do it for me.
But that is who I AM. That is ME. You can't be me and I can't be you (though sometimes I am totally jealous of your creativity and desire to serve-which you do so flawlessly).
Do what you do. You are amazing at it (even if it is in your pj's.) While wanting the best of yourself is perfect, comparing to others, will just demoralize.