Tuesday, April 26, 2011

morning.

Wake to the happy sounds of an 8 month old chatting away in his crib.
Look at the clock.
6:45 a.m.
Think to self: I'll get get a few more z's while he plays in his crib.
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Wake again.
It's 7:15
Look at baby monitor and see that a 7 year old has now
climbed into the crib and is playing peek-a-boo with baby.
Baby is giggling.
Think to self: I'll just get a feeeew MORE z's while they play together.
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Wake again to a cold little finger poking my bare arm.
It's the seven year old.
He is holding a big soggy diaper.
"Baby's diaper was REALLY big," he says.
"He needed a new one, so I took this one off,
but now I can't get a new one on.
I need your help."
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Leap out of bed.
Hurry into the nursery.
Find a half-naked baby,
still perfectly content,
kicking and squealing
in a huge puddle of fresh pee.
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But wait, there's more...

Pee on the walls.
Pee dripping from the crib bars.
Pee soaked into his jammies.

Laugh out loud.
Did I really think that those extra minutes of sleep
wouldn't come at a price?
{Answer: no.}

Seven year old says:
"Oh wow, sorry mom."

Laugh even louder.
"That's okay, bud.
It was time to change Ten's sheets anyway.

{We don't call him Catalyst Kortland for nothing.}

It's so nice having a big helper around.
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Get baby cleaned up.
Put baby into his high chair.
Dump a generous helping of Cinnamon Burst Cheerios onto his tray.
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Make breakfast burritos.
Serve breakfast burritos.
Talk at the breakfast table.
Try to deliver believable laughs as 7 year old tells bad jokes.
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Ask seven year old to please stop kicking his chair.
Ask seven year old to please stop tapping his foot.
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Ask seven year old to please stop clinking his glass.
Ask seven year old to please stop slapping the table top.

Seven year old starts asking:
"Can I tap like this?"

No.

"Can I tap like this?"

I'd rather you didn't.

"Can I tap like this?"

Ignore him.

"Can I tap like....this?"

Keep ignoring him.

"Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom?
Momomomomomomomomomomom
momomomomomomomomomomom?"

"Kortland James Dugovic, you'd better watch it."

Seven year old laughs.
So glad SOMEONE thinks his is fun.
I threaten to ground said seven year old.

Go to the bathroom.
Comb his hair.
Coat, backpack, kisses, prayers.

Remind him to be good for his teacher.
Send him out the door.

Rinse.
Repeat.

{Sans the free-for-all-peeing and incessant pestering, yes?}

Yes.
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How was YOUR morning?

6 comments:

Celeste said...

oh for the love. I miss you & I miss Tens & I miss Kort, as annoying as he attempts to be. I love that he crawls into the crib, that's the sweetest thing I think I've ever heard.
Hope you're doing awesome, I haven't talked to you in ages. lame sauce.

Amie said...

I LOVE this post. At first I was like, "Oh no. I don't think I can take a post about how perfect another mom's morning is"... and then the pee thing happened. :) The post was the perfect description of motherhood- a careful mix of fake laughter and real laughter, pee and wonderful.

Jeff and Jessie said...

.snicker. I love having boys. Baby girl woke up in a puddle of pee too. Bad Huggies!!
Hey, Janet asked me to post some recipes to my blog, so I will periodically be doing that-you may want to wander over because I won't remember to e.mail them too.

We Four Explorers said...

Cute!!! Sounds like a situation that my two could easily get in.; helpful 9 year old tries to entertain and contain the 3 year old!
Have a great week...
Janet @ No Ordinary Life

likeschocolate said...

I miss those simple happy mornings. Now it is filled with getting chores done for the day and driving little ones to school. Your post made me laugh. In just a few months we will be in full blown baby world again. I am looking forward to it.

Life with Kaishon said...

Oh my gosh! LOVED this Lola. The baby is getting EVEN MORE adorable as the days go by! : ) Sweet. Sweet. Sweet little thing!